RE: A Letter To Men by Christina Hendricks

There was a letter which I believe was published originally in Esquire; I discovered it via Gala Darling .

I found it to be interesting, & it prompted me to ponder my thoughts on the subject.  What follows is my preliminary response to the piece.

Yes, I do love your body.

And yes, you do smell good. Most of the time.

But when you talk about other women, it should be okay because I am strong and know that in the same way that all men have differences and flaws, so do women. I don’t have a steel box full of notes and obsession and poison, and I don’t want one.

I like it when you say nice things about my body. I like it when you say nice things about my personality. I know that if you didn’t really like me the way I am, you would move on and so would I. I’m not perfect and neither are you and that’s why we fit.

I really hope I don’t have to complain to you about my friends. If I wouldn’t want you to rag on them, I probably shouldn’t be doing it either.

Gifts that show you’re paying attention are nice. So are hugs, holding hands, sitting and talking to me while I wash the dishes, or vice-versa. I probably wont sob over any of these small acts, but they will build up in my heart and I will give them back in ways that reach your heart if I figure out the path.

Order scotch if that’s what you’re in the mood for. I might join you, and we can draw on mustaches and quote Ron Burgundy. Introduce me to your favorite libations, try mine. Drink lemonade with me on the front porch when you have to get up early tomorrow.

Chivalry.. is okay. I can hold my own and so can you and I would like to think that we are equals. Or maybe I will hold the door open for you sometime?

Wear what you want. It’s up to you.

Facebook. Have your own opinion about it, because I’m on there probably too often and respect your views either way.

I hear guys don’t really care much for lingerie anyway, because we’re naked soon enough anyway, but that’s a blanket statement so I’ll stay away from it. Tell me what you like, and sometimes I’ll make the effort to surprise you, and sometimes you’re going to get me in whatever underwear went with my mood today. I think there can be charm in most looks.

I don’t really care what word you use for my undergarments. Stop talking about them and start pulling them off with your teeth.

Ogling is an awkward word. Let’s try to go about our lives in a more charming manner. Flirt with me if I’m worth ogling at. Let me see you too.

Alternative adjectives are nice, but spew off as many of them as you want and it wont be the same as knowing that you really really mean the one you chose. Be honest in your praise and don’t limit it to my appearance.

I don’t want marriage to change me or to change you, if we get married at all. Keep growing and being the wonderful human you are, because that’s what it comes down to. We both have lives and I’m glad you’re part of mine.

Best,
Zoe Finn.